ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
Randomize
