Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
Randomize
