i wish they had a 'baby daddy' section in halmark, like, "hey, i know you didn't want this child and you're doing a horrible job, but here's to making you cry on fathers day"
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
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