wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
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