He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
I thought my broken hand would put a damper on Halloween, but fake costume eyelashes and hydrocodone are kinda fun at the same time.
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
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