Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
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