And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
Have you seen my high heels that I wore out?
You mean the one that you threw at the parked cop car or the one in the microwave?
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
omg how embarrassing to not hear the delivery person knocking because you're singing "where are you Pizza" to the tune of "where are you christmas" too loudly
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
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