I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
So unofficially, he told me he deleted tinder because of me. I think that's a pretty romantic gesture in 2018.
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
Randomize
