And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
Okay, I just reached peak living alone
I ate a piece of chocolate cake while jerking off
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
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