so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
Randomize
