do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
We left an ass print on the piano.
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
Randomize
