i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
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