Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
high people should be assigned attendants
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
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