they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
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