Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
Randomize
