i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
Based on the fact my iPad is covered in pizza, I'm going to assume I ate pizza last night
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
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