i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
Is it bad that I feel proud to be the first one to puke in the apartment? And I did it in style?
You straight up painted the counter with steak, tequila and beer. You owe me a knew toothbrush.
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
Randomize