I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
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