Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
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