have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
Why do I feel like that's not the first time you've drank champagne with someone dressed as a unicorn?
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
My gynecologist just said "don't worry, this won't be as hard as…well…" A FUCKING SEX JOKE NO
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
Randomize
