I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
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