Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
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