Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
Randomize
