There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
Things that have happened since you moved: Lemmy, Bowie, Snape, Prince, civility, democracy, Carrie Fisher, all dead. Record flooding down here. Twice. This is clearly your fault.
I turned on Elf, made myself a mojito, and am eating one of a sleeve of Ritz. You tell me if I wanna go out tonight.
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
Randomize