At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
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