the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
I'm driving in the middle of nowhere, and I just saw a stuffed Barney hanging from a noose on a tree. Maybe I should turn around.
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
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