i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
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