This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
According to Joseph, last night I crawled into bed and told him to pretend I'm his French maid, and then started speaking with a German accent, and referring to his manbits as "ze greatest Weiner schnitzel I'd ever seen". Basically, last night was a roaring success.
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
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