I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
Mass text: dear whatever jerk off who thinks they stole drugs from me. It was birth control. Go fuck yourself. And pray that I don't get pregnant.
Who puts their birth control in a bottle with a smiley face?!
Oh fuck wait
Randomize
