never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
She told me I should be a condom model.
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
Randomize