Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
Randomize
