Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
Randomize
