My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
Randomize
