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My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
So far today I've found 3.5 million dollars in savings. Pretty sure management is gonna start buying me hookers if getting laid has this much payoff
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
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