We have a vodka soaked ShamWow with your name on it.
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
I feel like my life has just been one 21 year long episode of "i shouldn't be alive"
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
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