She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
Randomize
