No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
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