The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
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