can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
I bought canned wine on a clearance aisle at the liquor store... I feel like I'm living in an episode of It's Always Sunny.
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
i think im in europe. pls send help
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