"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
My ex-wife, who I haven't heard from since the divorce, just Amazoned me cherry flavored massage oil and a rainbow caps with the message "Happy Pride". What's the polite response?
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Randomize