I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
I think i got beer on your cat.
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
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