Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
Randomize
