i found the vodka. it was hiding in the orange juice.
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
Randomize
