I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
Randomize