Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
we can add 'stealing hydrangeas from the sign in front of the credit union because we're too poor to have all of the flower arrangements professionally done' to my list of maybe-felonies
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
Randomize
