Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
The sex would be better if it wasn’t interrupted because his home detention ankle monitor needed charging. At least I know he’s not cheating on me
Do you even hear yourself?
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