her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
That awkward moment when you realize that last night you walked from in n out to petco, bought a mouse for $3, named it mogar, taught it how to skateboard on a techdeck, made it a home out of a trash can, fed it fruity pebbles and cheese, and then forgot where you left it.
Randomize
