Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
You tried tipping the cashier at Cook Out by shoving a dollar bill down his shirt and yelling "Magic Mike"
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize
