Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
i just made mint juleps with bourbon and fresh breath strips. i am the macgyver of alcohol.
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
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