I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
Oh okay. That's fine. I'll buy us both dinner when you bail me out
It's a post jail date
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
Randomize
