Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
She said, "awww, you're so sweet" after I started putting on a condom. How many STDs have I just contracted?
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
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