you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
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