I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
Randomize
