The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
My butt remains clenched, sir.
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
Randomize
