Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
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