My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
He gave me an elaborately handwritten invite (on a bar coaster) back to his place and whispered in my ear 'i have ping pong'. And he said byob. fuck THAT.
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize
