Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
I found an industrial strength sharpie in the drawer so I started writing BONER JAM 2014 on everyone's foreheads so they kicked me out
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
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