My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
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