Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
He wouldn't stop calling me so I sent him a text saying "I'm dead. Dead. Leave me alone." And he replied with "so can I see you then?"
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
Randomize
