proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
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