Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF.
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
Randomize
