Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
Randomize
